Saturday, April 18, 2009

Monsters in the Stomach

I can't be sure but I think that I'll have to be more careful with the food I store in the refrigerator since I have been about a week of feeling like I have had a creature like the baby alien spawns from Aliens working its way through my gastrointestinal system on it's way to burst through my chest... AAAAAAGGGGGGGHH...... I know, I know... not exactly a pleasant thought to put forth in a blog but, hey, what the hell... it's been on my mind and my morning constitutionals for a while now.

I suppose I can chalk this up to one of those  hazards of being a bachelor and not always taking the time to be as careful about what I eat as I should. I suppose I should take a wax pencil to my Food-Saver® containers and Glad® containers as well and mark what day I put the food in there... good idea I need to follow through on. Those of you with a wife or husband or significant squeeze don't have quite the same problems to deal with with food (others to deal with granted, just not the same as mine). 

I had every intention this year of eating a bit better since I love to cook.... I'm usually missing one absolutely vital ingredient most nights however... you guessed it - Time! I even have the white board in my kitchen with the schedule of what type of food to eat for which night like a menu at a restaurant (yeah, yeah, yeah.... sick and organized; I can hear it now). But without that vital ingredient, it usually comes down to fixing what I can, with what can, when I can OR going out and spending more money that I shouldn't be spending. The results are predictable.

So about a week ago, the Wild Things decided to take up residence in my colon and stomach and have a party... yuck. I don't cherish sitting on the Lu every 20 minutes and not being able to go out on a Saturday night. All I knew that might give me some relief was Pepto-Bismol®, sleep, and a small breakfast with some fruit and cereal and a touch of yogurt to try and get my bacterial fauna back into balance. The strangest thing resulted from this gastrointestinal extremism was a bit of melancholia.... wishing that I wasn't a bachelor and that I had a significant other, girl-friend, wife, main squeeze to be with and have someone to watch over me a bit. It has me a bit down and watching too much porno than is good... so I went back to diving into the geek-factor and keeping my mind busy. So far that works... temporarily at least.

I hope E-Harmony® comes through before the summer gets too far along....

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