Hypocrisy and Safety

So I'm getting ready to start my blog for the week, still in my comfey, sleeping clothes, when Steve calls and says, "Whatcha doin?" and says that he's gonna be there in 15 minutes to go to brunch with Sean and Jeanne.... crap. Sunday is for blogging, relaxing, and tweeting with anyone (bloggers, news people, scientists, porn stars, the whole lot) while trying to wrap my mind around ultimate answers to hard questions. Like "Why do people believe in such bull-shit as God created man" (and what about woman... that always bothered me even though I'm male so you'd likely think I was cool with that notion... nope). Any ways, I get my act together (barely) then it's off to Roseville.

Sean looks much better after the back surgery and Jeanne is such a trooper. After we're done, we walk out (a major accomplishment for Sean) and everyone's words seem to get lost in the rain.. the rain... it makes me contemplative. Then I realize after finishing my work at home how dark it gets so early in Winter. I come back to my sanctuary of a home and begin to realize that my friends have it better than I do in one large regard... they can profess who they are and their belief in NOT believing. I don't dare do that at my work or near my place of employment. If I did, I'd risk being terminated by a crazy, religiously fanatical parent. I use subterfuge and use my Zen Buddhist goings as my out. "Oh no, I'm not a non-believer; I'm a Zen Buddhist." The Buddhism statement is true, but the 'not a non-believer' is not.... I feel like such a hypocrite.

My friends regularly tell me that they understand my situation but it still gets to me. How can I be the co-founder of an Atheist and Non-Believer group but not come out to support it. I let certain friends know but sometimes I just want to shout to the world, "I don't believe in ANYTHING, especially your bullshit notion of God because there isn't any God!" But no, I stay in the 'closet' so-to-speak and let my friends take the brunt for being one of the last and most hated minority groups in America. Someday.... it just sticks in my throat. I hate it.

Then I come across a Science Blog which tries to say the things I want to express. Please read this Blog.